A new rear end...

No...not me (although, if given a choice, I would take a tummy tuck!).

Our van is in need of a new rear end, and will be receiving one as soon as the insurance adjuster stops playing Roller Coaster Tycoon and Sudoku and gets their ass in gear to contact me.

With a nasty cold making its rounds in our family (Michael is the current victim ~ Jenny is the only one left with the appropriate germ busters) over the Christmas holidays, we decided on New Year's Eve day to get our lazy butts out the door and drive to the movie store three blocks away.

Usually when you find the prime parking space closest to the store (next to the handicap parking) available, little alarm bells ring in your head, saying "too good to be true, too good to be true". Did we hear such bells? Nope...parked in the prime spot, nudging each other over our good fortune that we would get five less snowflakes on us before entering the movie rental store.

If we were listening carefully when we were in the store, we would have heard more than bells. We would have heard the crunching sound of a one tonne solid Dodge truck with a chrome grill (more like a monster truck, if you ask me) slide into the back of our baby. The back window shattered and the rear end is now concave.

Replacement surgery will be scheduled as soon as the lazy adjuster phones me (and it better be soon!).

Michael and Jenny's out-take on this experience, you ask?

"Wow, we get a rental car? What kind? Can it be a red sportscar?"

Thinking to myself, a family of four, plus Bailey, plus goalie bags...Sure, I'll take one of these...